Too Many Bones Review
Let’s address the bizarre element: there is almost no cardboard in this box. Too Many Bones, designed by Adam Carlson and Josh J. Carlson, and published by Chip Theory Games, is entirely composed of heavy, casino-grade poker chips and waterproof neoprene mats.
The production value alone will practically break your wrists when you lift it off the shelf. But underneath the expensive tactile components lies arguably the most bizarre and relentless dice-builder RPG in existence. It’s like being invited to a high-stakes poker game where the stakes are the literal end of the human race.
The Backup Plan
You play as a 'Gearloc'—a slightly terrifying cross between a goblin and an aggressively caffeinated badger. Your objective: venture out and brutally murder an evil tyrant. You do this through combat on a tiny 4x4 grid. It sounds simple until you realize your character sheet is a massive neoprene mousepad covered in indentations where you slot custom dice.
The absolute core genius is the "Backup Plan" track. In standard games, failing a roll means your turn is wasted. Here, failing a roll places that die onto your track. As the track fills, you unlock game-breaking super moves! You will frequently find yourself praying to fail a basic attack simply to trigger a massive, board-clearing explosion. It completely subverts the frustrating luck of standard dice-chucking.
Suitability: Family vs. Friends
Family Sessions
Could you legitimately teach this to your aging mother on a Sunday afternoon? Absolutely not. The game is notoriously loaded with overlapping keywords and complex tactical positioning. Just figuring out your character's ability tree requires entirely reading a dedicated sub-rulebook. It’s about as suitable for a family session as a lecture on advanced particle physics.
Hardcore Gamers
This is exclusively a high-investment, premium luxury experience for a hardcore cooperative group who enjoy wrestling with complex, occasionally unfair mechanical systems. The tactile satisfaction of throwing the heavy chips is unparalleled, and the wildly asymmetric unique ability matrices guarantee endless replayability. However, the eye-watering premium price tag means you should aggressively pressure a wealthy friend into acquiring it for your group.
Pros and Cons
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
Undisputed king of premium tactile components; chips are satisfying. | The rulebooks are notoriously clunky and aggressively confusing. |
"Backup Plan" mechanic brilliantly mitigates bad luck of rolling zeroes. | The financial cost required to purchase the box is offensive. |
Endless replayability due to wildly asymmetric unique abilities. | Certain tyrant battles can feel mathematically impossible early on. |
Final Thoughts
Too Many Bones is a wildly unique, completely unapologetic masterpiece of physical engineering. It is a game that demands respect and precision, providing a strategic experience unlike anything else on the market.
Final Verdict: Convince a friend to buy it. It is a wildly unique, completely unapologetic masterpiece of physical engineering and chaotic dice manipulation. However, the eye-watering premium price tag firmly means you should aggressively pressure a wealthy friend into acquiring it for your gaming group.
